Tuesday, November 13, 2018


It’s been a week, Dasha Girl, and it hasn’t gotten any easier.  Every time I go outside or in the garage, I think about you.  I miss the way you smell or how persistent you were when you first saw me in the morning.  I wish I could go back and soak up every moment of your time that last week – I wish I had known it was coming.  I would have found a way to let you smell, lick, and love on the boys as much as possible – I had always hoped you would have gotten to know them more.  Your little family grew by 2 and sadly you didn’t get to be a part of that as much as I would have liked because of the seizures.  You will always be their big sister even if they have no memories of you.

I had grabbed this little tag from the vet as a charm while I was waiting for them to let me see you that last time.  It was designed to go on a dog’s tag and be registered in case you got lost but I just thought it was pretty and wanted to keep it as a memorial.  When your Daddy saw it and asked what it was for, I explained and he said, “Our girl will never be lost.” 

We’ve spent every moment on the back-porch reminiscing of you.  We’ve talked about every story and moment you stole our hearts. 

Remembering…
  • How you loved to sit in chairs – especially that green chair I got from Dad.  It was cute until it started to smell and couldn’t be washed.  Lol.  Remember how you would get in the chairs on the porch and couldn’t get down?  We would laugh and love on you and help you out.
  • How you and Diesel would chase the red laser light around the back yard.  Diesel was so big it sounded like a horse galloping.
  • How Diesel would paw at and smoosh the grasshoppers in the backyard and chase the water coming from the sprinkler.
  • The first day we brought you home and you and Diesel played so hard that you fell asleep together under the swing in the backyard.
  • How when you both were outside dogs and I would try and go out there and sit down to love on you both – you were so excited you wouldn’t sit still.
  • How I used to roller skate with you and Diesel and take you to the beach and dog park.  You loved the water and would have spent all day in it if possible.


There are too many to put here and sadly they are already starting to fade from memory because despite the grief and anger… life goes on.

Daddy wanted you to know that he misses you too.  You would keep him company after hours when he would sit on the porch and play puzzle games on his phone.  He said he spent some time with you on Sunday night and said his goodbyes.  I hope you know how much he loved you.

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Today we said goodbye to our sweet Dasha girl.  She had started having seizures about a year ago and was taking medication to control them.  It was working well until Sunday when she had her first seizure in months.  Within 6 hours she had another and by Monday morning she was seizing often.  She was never able to recover from the last one she had and we had to make the hard decision to let her go be with Diesel and find peace from her broken body.

We had an appointment at 10:30 to let her go so we got her there and they took her back.  They cleaned her up a bit and laid her on a soft blanket.  I waited with her and got to talk to her and give her as much love as I could.  She still had some soul in her eyes but her body just wouldn't respond.  The nurse came in and told us an emergency had just come in and the doctor was delayed.  I got to sit with her for about 30 minutes which honestly I needed.  I'm thankful that God gave me that last chance to be with her and to find peace in the decision to let her go.

The doctor over at Companion Animal Hospital was new (to me) but he was so kind and friendly.  He gave me a hug and gently explained the process.  I asked him if he thought my decision was right and he agreed.  He explained medically why he felt it was her time to go and also his own opinion.  He gave her the medicine and within seconds she was gone.  I could tell the exact moment her heart stopped and it hurt so.. very... much.

Our house feels a little bit empty.  There are so many reminders of our girl.  We've shared stories about her almost all day long and are slowly picking up the small reminders and putting them away.  I'll wash her little Dasha baby and collar and put them in a box to keep.  I'll never forget my sweet girl and how much she meant to me.  She and Diesel made me a mom - and a better person.